When I don’t blog

Since adding in the old garbage, I did a non scientific look and see at my blogging habits since starting with this incarnation of the blog and the thousand and some posts and 10 years of blogging from before. Here are some statistics which are wrong or perhaps right. Not sure:

I hardly ever blog every day. I guess I don’t need the cathartic release on a daily basis any longer. I probably blogged more often when I first started this time and I settle into a regime and pattern. I have not checked the few blogs I read but I don’t think Jonas or Setuid blog every day either. I don’t read Doc’s blog so often but I checked awhile ago and he does not either. I’ll let you go find that one for extra credit.

My signal to noise ratio has remained deplorable and I still blog about things which I have attempted to learn to live with. Perhaps being just a humble human and habilis I cannot simply let things go and become more. Too bad. Deal with it. I did not ask you to come here any ways. I include the obligatory link to home if you wanna go there.

Blogging goes up when I travel. I like to blog against the travel category. Travel is a narcotic for me and its not so much the destination but the slow meander on the amtrak or the road trip drive which feeds my addiction. When I went to Seattle late last year I blogged food and beer. Truth be told, I pick cities which have good beer and then I go investigate what I suspect or expect. In July I’ll go Portland because its one of the meccas of the craft beer scene. I bet food is great there too!

I don’t blog about divorce or my failures. I’ve learned to live with my failures for most things but I do admit to getting stronger feelings when I have a beer or two going. I am not so high and mighty, clean, and with high regard type thoughts when I’m in my cups.

I don’t have some scientific theorem to push around about this stuff. Just some middle of a long weekend postulating. Will I blog tomorrow? Chances are…

No.

Take it or leave it.

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Simpler, better. Walking is the way

I walk most every day these days besides Saturday when I am nursing my weekly beer hangover. I’ve walked in cities here and there. Published a few places that I felt were more keyed to pedestrian tourism. I’ve also watched people participate in a number of outdoor sports. Some folks seem very attuned to running. Their movements are flowing and smooth and they seem to hardly touch the ground. They whisper through the air gracefully.

Then there are some people who I see which look so uncomfortable running. Their bodies seem to resist the movement and I wonder how long they’ll last at the sport they’ve chosen. Lets be clear though. Walking is not a sport. Its not something you do to excel at it or to go faster or break world speed records. The reasons are more sublime I feel for walking.

I walk because-

  • The soft touch of the air and the rain and wind make moving through them seem to bring an escalation of the feelings of fullness and emptiness. Meaning and a lack of meaning. Selfish and open.
  • Every time i do walk I see a new thing. A new leaf blowing silently down its destination. A squirrel teasing the acorns from the rain gutters and then dashing ahead of me. I see a moment of rainbows as the clouds break and the sun flashes down to make rain puddles into rainbows and skies light up.
  • Time ceases to be a thing for me. Reality stops enforcing its stupid standards and I feel its me raging against all of those “it” things. I can rage at life and tell it off and then realize its showing me a cosmic scene of how the universe unfolds and how it does not care.
  • Cities seem to open up to me when I walk them. I see people trapped in buses and tour mobiles being told what to see and perhaps judging their Singapore trip by the percent of the city they’ve seen or the museums, zoos, historic sites. Instead cities for me unfold in a geometry of lefts and rights. i can Kyoto opening up its temple routes and Sydney urging me over the bridge.
  • Memories are richer and slower and the photographs and blog posts at the Starbucks at the end of the day open the doors of the day and I can blog the day with tired feet.

Those are not all the reasons perhaps many people cannot or will not do the same thing. Everyone picks a thing and does it. Maybe the important thing is to find a thing. Maybe you fail at it and find another thing. I’m not a tour guide and not a life coach. I’m a pointer to the things you probably don’t want to try.

So don’t walk. Find your thing. It could be this or that.

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The Old Content

I decided on the spur of the moment to bring in all the old content. The blog is a recording of my life for better or worse so the meanderings of the author are the footprints. Now you can find the actual time and space this blog has. I’ve blogged at lnxpowered.org for a long time and at this point I want to share the blog with some folks near and dear and the one or two people that may read it in the future.

The blog has a lot of goods and bads in it. Just like life in general. Its full of the thoughts and dreams, nightmares, failures of a Mike.

Just as a note because a few asked. I made commenting more difficult because I got tired of all the spam and the duty I always feel cleaning it up. If you want to post a comment you will have to sign up. I honestly do not know why someone would want to comment here. The signal to noise ratio is questionable and the author’s merits, methods, techniques and ability may not be at a level you wish to participate in. That’s fine. I don’t write this for any of you. Its been and always will be an exposition of my life. I pay for the storage and the VPS. Its my playground and I own all the land. If you want to comment, you have to join.

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Second and Third Day Travels – there and back again

Our second day on the road trip to Fort Bragg included exploring north of Fort Bragg along Highway One until it veers inland and reaches Highway 101. From there we went south to Highway 20 and took that back home. The day was quite wonderful. We got to see portions of the coastline which are so remarkable and yet so isolated.

IMG_20150509_115352 Rock outcrops dot the coastline and each turn we took seemed to show yet new vistas. We ooh’ed and aah’ed a lot and got to see pretty much the whole route untraveled by fellow humans.

In one place after Highway One went inland, a deer darted in front of the car by about 30 feet. I slowed down. Highway One is equal parts of amazing coastal drive and inland forests, valleys and streams which run through deep walled valleys to the ocean. There are wetlands and small beaches with no access at all. Just an amazing diversity and I think everyone should drive this part of Highway One. Especially if you have driven the more publicized Big Sur drive from about San Luis Obispo to Monterey.

 

IMG_20150509_130726We saw a sign also for the drive through tree which we went to and drove the rental car through. We stopped and got the required souvenirs after driving through the still living tree. I would say the amount of clearance was about 5 inches on each side of the car. Vacationing with the daughter force is always good. She enjoys the scenery, the driving, the food. When my ex-wife and I used to tour and camp in California, there were these series of memories of the places and what we did there. My ex-wife has carefully allowed those memories to simply lapse in favor of making new memories with her guy now. I get that I think.

People want to lose the memories that were of some troubled thing and focus on the good things. Luckily my daughter enjoys making new memories of trips here and there and really seems to enjoy the art of the road trip and my desire to stop along the coast every so often and see the sights.

On our second day, I did this a lot and was wondering if my daughter would start complaining at driving about a quarter mile sometimes and just stopping at a rest area or pull out and take photos, stomp around, watch the ocean and rocks and the clouds and sky all contribute to meeting to the west. The ocean seemed a playful thing sometimes and others seemed focused on destroying the rocks still standing. Perhaps by drilling those holes through them.

DSCN0121On our second day we saw all this and more. I’ll make a pitch for the slow drive along the Pacific Coast Highway. Just do it. If you decide its just another drive on just another road; you will miss the lost beaches, the fog touching the oceans. The dilapidated barns which seem to stay standing even with gravity and age making their demands.

For me the main thing was the ocean and the forests and the sights. For my daughter I think it was the same. She loved the stops or so I think. Perhaps just put up with them I thought for awhile but after asking her she did not dissemble. She loves to see the ocean in its playful, angry and pensive states.

The second day I would say we got to see the Ocean in all its stages.

After Highway 1 goes inland, you end up on Highway 101 and from there we went south to Highway 20 which runs a crooked route back to Fort Bragg. A beautiful, isolated, and wondrous 2 hours of a drive puttering along at about 30 mph. We pulled over each time a car wanted by and we felt the time spent seeing the trees and not the ocean made the difference.

The last day

Today was the last day for us. It always seems both positive and negative for me. I get to spend time with Arry and then its taken away and I have to go back to the way it is. Today, we drove down Highway One to California Highway 128 which takes a wondrous route to Highway 101 almost at Cloverdale. From there we trended south and saw the wineries and green hills and finally the Richmond bridge which took us back. Perhaps back to things we both have to do but may not really want to do at all times. I wonder what it would be like to just take Arry to our own place where we could live. Where the time would pass and she and I would do the dad and daughter things which make us happy or that challenge us. That is not to be and I know the way it is is the way it shall be until she is 18 years old.

So I drive to her home and thankfully then drive to my room. I would not trade and move back for all the gold. Its simply not worth it and it was not for the 5 years I spent living there. Now I get vacations and I can plan multiple trips each year. I dropped my daughter off and then drove myself home. There will be another trip to another place for us. Perhaps another train or road trip. I have my traveling companion in my daughter.

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First day travels – Fremont to Fort Bragg

My daughter and I did the drive in a lazy way after breakfast. Crossed over the San Mateo Bridge and then through San Francisco along the Embarcadero to the Golden Gate. North a bit to Highway One and we began the route to get to the ocean. Small towns dot the highway. We stopped at Gualala and a whole bunch of others to just relax and get out of the car. It took us all day for what is classified as a 4 hour drive. The coastline is simply breathtaking but much different than the Big Sur drive. Highway One wends its way through forests and lush valleys and then back to the coastline in breathtaking vistas of cliffs and then secluded beaches where I think human feet have not marked the sand in some places. Little towns with a slightly lost feeling come and go at our leisurely 35 mph and the highway is less traveled and the numerous pull outs to enjoy the vistas of ocean, beach, sand are less full. We did a great dinner last night and then retreated to our hotel room for movies and goodies.

If you are looking for a drive that is more than a drive, Highway One never disappoints. From the small cities to PointArena to these larger than life views of the ocean constantly challenging the cliffs; this is the place for you. Better in many regards than the Big Sur part of the Highway but less traveled with a more tie-died and funky feel.

Fort Bragg is a sleepy little place where restaurants seem closed for the most part because perhaps its still early in the season. The beer choices are impressive here as you start seeing the Northwest coast status set in where the number of crafted beers multiply to levels that are outrageous. I will haul back a few samples to try on my Friday nights.

Today we will check out Fort Bragg and Mendocino after breakfast. We saw the Botanical Gardens here and we both love those walks and photo opportunities. Tonight, it may be an adventure again to find a place to eat here. The weather in May is cooler and cloudy most of the time so if you come up plan taking a jacket or sweater.

More on all this with a few photos of our travels tomorrow!

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Coffee on a Sunday Morning

Here its a Sunday morning. I usually start my mornings with some excellent French Press brewed coffee in the Bodum Chambord.

 

chambord

The chambord is a really nice coffee maker. I also started experimenting with different blends for the morning Joe. Been through some breakfast blends and some other stuff I wanted to try. Believe it or not, a good place to order fresh bean is Amazon. I got the Chambord and the grinder at Amazon too but the choice of fresh coffee beans is pretty nice. You can sign up for a single installment or get a monthly subscription. I normally buy 2 pound bags which last some amount of time. As the storage container starts running down, I start marking coffee in my wish list and then decide based on customer reviews and how it looks.

I admit to this last time buying my blend based on name primarily and then on some rather great reviews on Amazon. The way it works with the blend is you usually get the coffee in about three days so part of my planning is to account for that.

blackbeard

 

This is the morning driver now and I really like it! You can find it on Amazon quite easily and the flavor is rich without being bitter. It goes with the French Press quite well and I can sit, listen to the news, and enjoy the aroma and flavor of my 2.5 cups or so of French Press brew.

Grinding the beans produce that release of aroma of the bean that you get first. Getting the coffee beans ground elsewhere and you miss that release of aroma. There is also the daily duty of it all. I think combining all these things and the French Press ends up being the best cuppa you can get. The French Press does not keep the coffee warm enough long enough so I have a nice carafe that I pour into after pressing. To me, the daily grinding and drinking are not so difficult or time consuming. Consider about 20 seconds to grind, about 2 to 3 minutes to get boiling water, and then about 4 minutes to get the coffee into the carafe and ready!

It all results in my Sunday morning being more manageable and enjoyable. I’m so glad I started doing the french press thing! The adventure to trying new blends, getting the right French Press, settling on a electric burr grinder which produces the right grind which is the coarsest setting all combine to make my morning.

In Other News

Again was asked to cancel a week’s vacation I had planned. I really hate when they do this to me. They did it last year too which was quite depressing. I can work 60 hour weeks and it only takes them minutes to ask me to cancel. There’s something wrong with the whole thing. I kept on thinking if I only had XX dollars, I would just quit. I guess I am getting tired of working. Most of all working at the rate it goes now. The other bothersome thing is the sense of accomplishment which falters and often just disappears and leaves me feeling rather empty even after I see us do amazing things with little or no management support besides guys that show up when something goes wrong and are never there to congratulate us when things go right. Most of all I’m tired of working. I feel that this job has produced a sense of job anomie in me. It bothers me because I don’t know of a solution to this. I can’t get the feelings up any longer and that worries me.

I started looking at how I do things in my little corner of the android and chrome world. I bought the Nexus 9 with high hopes to have a innovative tablet with interesting hardware that would stretch the boundaries. What I got was a device I really stopped liking and just flashed new things on it to see if things got any better. This has not happened. What has happened is I have come convinced that we have no real tablet vision as a platform. There is nothing out there which stretches our boundaries. I think the Asus Chromebook Flip coming out in June may be something fun and funky. I could never do another iPad Air anything. That ecosystem and platform is also disappointing. I don’t spend almost $600.00 to rent something that I can’t make mine. So I’ve reached the point of considering that my Nexus 6 is THE device for me that crosses the boundaries. With its almost 6 inch screen, how responsive it is, how the 64gb memory is a sweet spot, how android wear just works on it. Its all a fantastic phone and tablet experience and it lets me have a single device. Traveling will mean using wifi on it or my chromebook or getting a sim card in other places. Simcards are so easy in most places! I went to Hanoi and called the front desk at the hotel and they had one waiting for me. In Singapore, a trip to 7/11 with my passport resulted in one with a data plan on it. In India, it helps to have a friend get one but going to just about any phone shop in Chennai will result in an airtel or other sim card. My tmobile Nexus 6 is truly unlocked at the sim level so its easy to pop one in and start using it. Perhaps it actually gets down to a single device down the road. Just a so-called phablet. Maybe the next thing for me is the Samsung Note 5. I could go for a 6 inch to 6.5 inch phone screen. I doubt I will do another Nexus and the reasons to root a thing are even less these days. It used to be to get a certain application on it but these days, its not really necessary. Root is nice; but not a requirement.

That’s all the news fit to print. Welcome to your Sunday if it is your Sunday. Enjoy your time. Go for a walk. See the sights. Treat yourself well. You deserve it.

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Where Android Shines

I think there’s a sweet spot right now for Android and there’s a place where it does not really get there. The sweet spot to me is the Nexus 6 phone. It combines many of the best things of phone and tablet and should be looked at how people will get off tablets and get themselves to truly portable devices which combine screen size, attractive displays, communications abilities, and brute power. Where do the Android tablets fall down? I think it comes to a few things:

There is not a killer Android tablet out there right now. The Nexus 9 could have been but it lacks in key areas. The Nexus 7 is something that could have been IF Google did not do a Nexus 6 phablet form factor. Now the Nexus 7 is kind of unnecessary. The tablet landscape for Android seems kinda barren and at a crossroads these days. The OEMs seem lined up to take phones to the next landscape but where are tablets? I’ve seen the Dell but that has issues with the current OS on it but even after it gets Lollipop sweetness where does it go next? What are its killer approaches?

On the other hand, the Apple iPad Air 2 does have a spot and a following and its a killer by all functional areas. I don’t like it though. I don’t like its limitations and how Apple basically decides for us how we use it, what we do with it, how the apps interact. But you don’t see reports about back light bleed on Apple iPads or build quality issues. You see what I would call user frustrations. Why can’t we make Chrome and gmail the defaults? The apps are plenty good enough on IOS. Why can’t we sync pebble watches to Apple iPhones? Why are there so many “can’t” things? Very frustrating.

So, this leaves a person like me wanting something. A thing that bridges the gaps. Is this the new Microsoft slate? I looked at it and would go for it at the $500.00 level with a keyboard tossed in. I don’t particularly like Windows stuff but there are the desktop applications I’m used to and I understand its ecosystem pretty well. I’m tempted to just pre-order one and see if I like it or not.

On the other hand, I have the Nexus 6 and a more than average chromebook. The Toshiba Chromebook 2 fulfills and exceeds any use cases I have on a daily basis. Both of these things really fulfill the needs and the current crop of Android tablets don’t for whatever reasons. I won’t buy a iPad because I am more disappointed in them than the Android tablets.

What to do? Try out the MS Surface 3? I could like it and it could become something to take on trips, do evernote stuff, edit office documents. Install chrome on it and get google drive working. No big issues. Just install the things I want. But why? Well, one reason is because this stuff is fun and I have always liked trying new things to kind of vet the experience and get a sense of what they can do.

What do you think? Are we seeing the ebb of the whole tablet experience and the phones are growing to meet the demand? Do we need multiple connectivity devices with screen differences?

At this point, the Surface 3 looks cool to me. Guess I will cast about for awhile and decide if it would be fun to play around with. I don’t care about productivity needs. I have those things with the Nexus 6 and chromebook. This would be merely for fun and escape. I would always stream from a android device. The experience is much better. I do wonder how much the Surface 3 intrudes on the space I now have a chromebook for. I don’t need fancy office apps. I have a work laptop with those things that runs Windows. Come to think of it, there is no need. I have what I need.

But do I have what I want? :-)

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The Walking Way

I’ve enjoyed walking for its own sake for some years now. I’m up to about 2 hours some days of primarily city walking. When I go on vacations, a lot of the time I go to see a city in a particular way. I’m interested in seeing whether its built for pedestrian tourism and if it is, how the streets and bikeways and trails combine to make for a memorable stay. I’ve found a number of cities which I think are pedestrian tourism friendly like Seattle, Sydney, Kyoto, Singapore, Tokyo, Eugene. I have a feeling that Portland is as well but have not done that trip. The other city that I think would be is Boston. I base this on walking groups, self-paced maps for different hikes around the city, historical sites, walking trails. There are probably thousands of cities which I will never get to which are as well. Each one has its particular distinction and its meme. It has its calling for someone like me. I liked reading a recent story by Jonas on hiking because it covers the why of things so well for the longer hikes.

There are so many reasons to walk and so many not to. Here are my reasons. Perhaps they all blend together into one.

I walk because I can do it. I cannot ride a bike well. Cannot run. Cannot jump out of airplanes or surf or hang glide. What I can do is walk. I can put one foot in front of other and not do it gain anything really at all from a sense of material or health or other gains. I do it because I love it and its meaningless and meaningful all at the same time. I do it because in my particular world, I see things clearly after an hour walking. I see a bird caressing a tree or a dog running to a fence almost accusing of me stealing the street extension to his property. I see a sky expecting rain and making those sounds or a evening demanding its color change. The red and yellows start swimming their strokes in the evening sky and my feet carry me to a place where I decide on a turn or a straight ahead. My music plays on and I sometimes pretend to be another person in another place or I remember being the same person in another place. I remember walking the streets of Kyoto with the precision of the blocks laid out and still getting lost. My feet getting tired after 7 hours of walking in Seattle and how good that evening beer happened to taste at the pizza place. Sometimes in Eugene I would come out on a walking trail that would lead up to the Willamette River pathway.

I would walk because I can walk and because there is no meaning to it and it creates no real meaning yet it drives me onward to other cities much like Jonas said in his story. I don’t do it to make a difference. I do it to be the difference. There is no meaningful thing I address when I walk. There is a indescribable thing I gain from the act of it. Hard to put into words but in each city I have walked a certain point in the day when I stopped and perhaps imbibed the iced coffee or Frappacino in a Starbucks. The world echoed by me and the young men and women of Seattle left their jobs and sashayed to perhaps a nite spot for the evening beer. The Tokyo day worker boarded the Metro Subway and went around in circles to his evening meal and maybe some beer. The young women in Kyoto rode by on their bicycles; horns bleating in a sad refrain.

Yet I would walk further. And each step I took was a new step even in a place I had walked before. One time in Tokyo I realized that I would never know what was on the next street and it was okay. I ended up in the Ginza at the Lion Beer Hall and realized with some gritty and giddy synapses from a long dead memory I had been there before. That connected me to a previous me.

Not all of us are made to be walkers I don’t think. Some need purpose and direction and perhaps need to strive for a weight loss or a muscle gain or some amount of cardiovascular exercise. Then there is me. The old me who is busy reinventing. Each day I walk is something new and the steps form the the life I have. I can stop to think and think to stop or I can just let it all go and let the music play or let the silence unfold and see that same bird that teases the leaf on the ground. The same squirrel who madly dashes to a new tree right in front of me. The sky colors that show me that the world is so much bigger than puny little me but it lets me see the moments of its wonder.

For the walking I am thankful. For the cities that unfolded to me and let me taste their beauty, I appreciate the memories and the photo’s on my Google Plus photostream of the times spent. Thanks to Jonas for writing as well. Never has the act of simply putting one foot in front of the other meant more and less to me.

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Here and there on a Friday

My last post delved into the whole work thing. I had hoped to be considered seriously for a new position with new money and responsibilities. Company B decided to fill the role internally only after about a month of back and forth. Company C first was quite interested but then told me that a project manager must not have certain abilities that they themselves disagreed on. One of the interviewers said “looking for a person with technical qualifications but not only technical qualifications”. The second interviewer said “looking for a person with business analyst qualification and some technical qualifications”. What makes company C think that a project manager does not enjoy relating with business and application owners? I think its one of the primary joys of life. Getting out of those dusty cobwebs of project planning and scheduling and working with technical and non-technical owners was and is a great thing in my life. Gathering business and technology requirements, putting those into requirements and scoping, building the risks and change, mutual agreement on execution. Acceptance. All the steps to making a thing a thing. Company C did not strike me as being particularly switched on with what they think are the primary types of people. Hiring project managers is not though. They want a thing called a migration analyst with a mix of business and technical abilities but neither could agree on what the mix was. How much of this and that. I figure I wasted an hour and then figured out I’m better off at IBM. I work at home in PJs all the fooking day long. I can stop when I want. I’m spoiled. I have a great team even though sometimes they piss me off but now I know that’s normal. Or as normal as I am. That is not much BTW.

Nexus Plexus

The Nexus program seems to be not understood by the current crop of users out there. I remember when I started with the Nexus One. What a grand group of adventurers, flashers, rooters, and users. Combined with developers that wanted to stress the phone and the OS. Not a bunch of whiners who refuse to learn to flash a thing and complain about no OTA. Geez guys. Learn how to abuse your phones and tablets. Its highly unlikely you will brick your devices. If you do, use any ole factory image and get something back and then try again. Here is my menu of the first things to do with a Nexus device:

  1. Boot and turn on developer settings.
  2. Turn on USB Debugging.
  3. Get ADB working (on linux, this takes a minute)
  4. Boot to the bootloader and do a fastboot oem-unlock (erases everything)
  5. Now boot again and reset the developer settings and USB Debugging
  6. Use ADB to boot to the bootloader
  7. Flash the TWRP Custom Recovery
  8. Boot to TWRP and adb push the superSU zip
  9. Now reboot and install the root apps you need. Seriously look at Titanium Backup and Flashify on the store or take the nice restore option first and then do the root apps. Your choice.

After you get the goodness done, grab any ole factory images for the device. Current does not matter. You only need to recover from moments of stupidity. The Nexus Plexus is meant for moments of stupidity. Now go play for heaven’s sake. Go learn, break, fix, flash things that make the phone go bonkers.

To me, that’s what the program is all about. Its about crazy AOSP after-market ROMs and flashing them all again.  If you are sitting there waiting for something from Google, good luck with that. This ain’t a commercial program. This is the Nexus. Its a toy, a platform. Ever used Linux? Its like that. It never closes. If you like Linux you will understand the Nexus platform. If you don’t; buy a Samsung for heaven’s sake and go off and wait for OTAs to arrive.

I’m there to have fun and cause breaks and fix and flash and have fun with the things. The last serious thing is that these are not serious devices. They are developer platforms. Meant to be twisted and broken and reflashed.

Now go off and be a good Nexus boy or girl.

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Its work and play

There really can be no mixing them and lately at work; its been more of the work thing and less play. I work too many hours in a day and have less time to unwind, do things I like to do, see my daughter and son. I’ve asked the question before about the whole work satisfaction thing and how we go through the phases. But I think many folks feel that work has taken over their lives and the travel, the fun, the exploration, the walking trips I like to do take a seat way behind the work requirements. I’m getting tired of that and I’m getting tired of having to hear from customers its still not enough. I’ve given a lot of thought to happiness lately because none of us have an unlimited amount of time on this earth. If we spend the lion’s share of the time unhappy or going through any of the phases from a failed relationship, a personal loss of a friend or pet, or whatever thing which makes us go through all those horrible phases; we know that they take over our lives and become the real reason we do everything.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the vast majority of people really are not worthy of consideration. They really are not worthy of me wasting time on or trying to find something of value in. They really have nothing to trade and friendships are not a one way street where you give and give and the other person takes and takes. Its a bartering thing. Each person has to give a thing and receive a thing and each party has to find a thing of value. Lost relationships I have seen have lost that trend. We go through the motions and never really understand. Its socially expected that we do a thing, act a way, respond a way.

I’m tired of all that. I think its time to make a basic change. I joked with a friend at work I’d like to be a life guard at a pool or do something so completely different that the challenge would be there again. The fulfillment and happiness and joy and sense of accomplishment. All of that is missing in technology for me. Its like a gritty survival dystopia where we are plotted against the machine and it simply does not care. I cannot live that way.

At some point, perhaps after this vacation in May, I’m gonna make a basic change and do a longer vacation. I’m going to take off for a month I think for some time on the road here. Work will always be around when I want it. Right now I don’t know what the work is that I want.

I imagine it will come back to me but I need the sense of the road beneath my feet and more miles to go before I sleep. Robert Frost was right.

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