People. I don’t get them. Relatives, ex’s, ex relatives. How we can have a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law and then we don’t when its over. Suddenly those people are no longer related either. Its like the divorce happens to such a wide audience. You are never supposed to contact those people again. My so-called ex-brother-in-law (is there such a thing?) has never called me, sent me a card, referred to me since the divorce; yet my ex-sister-in-law still does. There is something strange with people. Especially people you have or had a relationship with. What happens is that we are basically handed the divorce to them as well. Not that I miss my ex-mother-in-law. She was a real pill. I would never hope to find another like her again. I think she managed to create some kind of bi-polarity and craziness in all the family she was the matriarch over. How? Because she’s a person and is the singular of people. We really cannot ever put ourselves in someone else’s shoes or feel what another feels or make another person happy. None of those things can happen. We can never “be as one” or blend together in some gooey soup of love and harmony. After my years here, I’ve realized that people are the worst things about people. They all think that either you are wrong and they are right or you right and then are wrong and they cannot wait to communicate all that BS. I will never understand people. And that’s okay. Along with people is this special thing called friendship. I don’t understand that but I do know that as we get older its harder and harder to make them and keep them. We all drift a thousand ways apart and cannot find the space or time to reach out. Others I have known and perhaps loved have left and some soon might. You never know.
Space. I don’t understand any of the concepts of space. Personal space, space in the universe, space and how it affects time. Whether there is a continuum or not and we can cross over the vortex and see things over across the space thing. I’ve heard people say,
give me some space
What exactly does that mean? We all have space. There is the space between us and the millions of miles of space that separate us all as humans.
I’ve tried mightily to be something I am not and I blame space on not achieving it. I cannot be like person X or Y because I am not in their space. I also do not know what it means to be in someone else’s space. I had believed it was a universal law that people cannot operate the same space.
I guess I will puzzle over space just like I do over people.
Time. I do not get time. The clock madly charts its course across our temporal and spatial skies and takes away things and gives other things. Getting old is not running out of time. Its making time look different and behave different but in the end; it does not really exist. I’ve heard people say,
give me some time
I don’t think its possible to give someone else time whether it exists or not. Time is not one of those things you can give or take. It does that all on its own dear readers.
So what we are left with we can understand you may ask. Well, there are some things we can discuss and dream about and wonder over. We can look inside ourselves and question what we find. We can travel a path that is either crooked or straight and wonder why. We can create and destroy and find and lose and value and hate. We are the Ecclesiastes of life ourselves. If you say you don’t understand God. You are lost. Because that is the most personal of things. Science is outside looking in. Faith is inside looking out. Don’t get confused and believe that anthropologists and archeologists are atheists. We are not. Faith and belief are central poles of existence to life for the good and bad. Many bad things have happened because said they believed in a thing or did not.
So in the end, we cannot really understand another person, invade their space or time; become one with them. Lose ourselves in an altruistic goo of life. Make another happy until we are happy. People, time, space. Think about it.
Sitting in a Starbucks I spy on others that may be spying on me. Who knows who thinks what. And who gives a flying fuck. We’re put here on earth not to satisfy another but to chart a path for ourselves. We may touch others and we may allow them to touch us. Friendships may bloom. People may say they love us. We may divorce and find a measure of peace or war.
Its all about the Mocha Frap I have right now and I watch it steadily going down. Is there a place where it stops? Is a glass half full enough?
Ask and you may answer.