Its Saturday morning here, second weekend of the new year or so. I was employed at Levanta for almost a year and felt I did good things there; but now I’m not working and searching. I’ve given the reflections a bit of thought of late and I can see that I need to make a change in things or I’ll just continue to see the old reflection in the pool no matter what. The blog is a great place to recollect, analyze, and place the journey. I still read a lot of weblogs but I can easily admit to not enjoying certain of them where I see the author pandering or shamelessly promoting. I like weblogs that are statemenets of a journey and an intent. I also like the “gadget” blogs. But most of all, for me and my journey the blog is a marker of the trails I’ve taken, missed, and left behind. I used to blog the body Linux but truth be told, after Levanta, I feel I’ve left a bit of that behind. Now I’m searching for a job which will make a difference. Perhaps with a startup doing Linux and perhaps with some established company, Inc. I’ve done the Linux startup thing for almost 7 years now. Its been a tricky journey. Linuxcare was a wondrous, troubling, satisfying, curious and difficult thing. Levanta was the end of that particular tree branch for me.
Now I want to flex a bit and find other things. Its dawned on me I don’t simply need to stay doing Linux startup stuff because I’m more than that. The weblog has assured me that I have other things to contribute and that some big company, Inc will find me and/or I will find them and there will be worth exchanged in both directions.
The weblog continues because I’ve tried tried in vain to stop it before nad I felt like a 5 pound chicken trying to lay a 10 pound egg. Nothing came out and I felt emotionally, intellectually constipated. I don’t care about the authority things, the link things, the inbouds and outbounds any more. I don’t care to simply blog technology because technology all by itself ain’t a damn thing. It takes a human to actualize it. All those “clued in” writers fart in the wind over it and the smell always returns and they wonder why. The reason is you deny the feelings you feel under the covers and choose to write a surface thing. C’mon tell us all how you really feel. You all argue about all the stuff that does not matter and incite technology. But technology will avail you not if you are not there to manipulate it.
The reflection wavers on a Saturday morning. My daughter is smiling that ancient but new smile which tells me she knows stuff I don’t know and always will. Kids know more with each passing day than we simpering adults will ever catch on to. But its a mystery.
Now I have a few friends which show their reflections in the pool. I smile and wave and say “I’m okay”. But they know that everyone will land on their feet and the watery mirror will reflect their truth. After all, this is the Silicon Valley. The place where the plastic reflection takes on real life aspirations. All will be known in due course, dear real person in the reflection. Continue to write your pointless blog posts exploring some non-reality. Because in the end, that much vaunted reality is a glimmer, a wink and blink of a cosmic eye. We’re there…
Then gone.
But that moment is richly tapestried and we can make a difference. Go forth and do that one thing friends.
Make a difference.
